The previous blog post focused on Part I of the Negativity Fast: becoming aware of the negative chatter inside your mind. Do you find your self-defeating talk focuses on sarcasm or insults aimed at other people? Or does your voice tend to ramble on and on about how you personally lack ability, charm, strength, or good-looks? Whatever the nature of your self-destructive talk, the fact that you have now acknowledged its voice is the first step to ridding yourself of this major obstacle to success.
The following are ten concepts to help redirect your thinking when you find yourself locked in a negative cycle. (Remember: you get what you give. In order for success to come into your life you have to break unhealthy cycles by controlling your output. Make it positive as often as you can!)
- Pay attention. Catch your crippling thought midstream and look at it for what it truly is: an excuse based on nothing but egotistical fears. Do not let negative thoughts run amuck in your consciousness because their momentum builds on itself. Pay attention and consciously decide to weed out the ugly stuff.
- Identify why you are thinking this way – are you avoiding the truth? Are you looking to place blame on others to avoid being accountable yourself?
- Follow the fearful thought all the way through to the end. For example, if you are thinking the worst is inevitable as in, “I blew that interview! They will never offer me the job now. I’m doomed.” Don’t stop there. Assume the worst; assume you are right. You did blow it. You messed up royally and fell flat on your face. They will not be calling you. So what now? Set up another five interviews and keep at it knowing your best has to be yet to come. You will find work. The point is that you are not doomed and this is not the end of the world. Life always goes on. This too shall pass.
- Don’t be afraid of success! It is more likely that you are afraid of huge success than of failure because at your core you don’t believe you deserve the best of the best. Most people are more comfortable being average and fantasizing about their big dreams. Take the initiative and dare to believe you can achieve great success. Changing your core beliefs to those that encourage and cultivate wealth and success will manifest these things in your life.
- Realize it is possible that the negative thought is just a simple truth that you are compounding by needlessly berating yourself. The small seed of some negative thoughts may actually be worth your attention. If you are constantly beating yourself up for procrastinating on projects maybe it is because you need to address the habit instead of wishing it away or accepting it as permanent. Look procrastination in the face and figure it out. It is not the end of the world that you procrastinate; it is the end of your success if you don’t figure it out.
- Do not run away from your issues – they will only run faster and tackle you from behind. Turn the spotlight on your fears and more often than not they slink and disappear. Shed light on the subject with the intention of dispelling what is not working for you; not dwelling on it.
- Decide to surround yourself with people, TV shows, music, art work, quotes, books, activities and interests that are positive for you. Gossip is enticing; bad mouthing another manager to make your self seem impressive is cheap and easy. But what do you truly bring to the table? If you take the time to contemplate your direction, your interests, and your passions you should have plenty to talk about that is positive and infinitely more interesting to those around you.
- Listen. Stop talking. Quiet your mind. Really listen to understand another person’s point of view. Actively listening to another person puts you in the perfect position to: 1) Step out of your own obsessive mind, and 2) realize there are a million more people outside of yourself with issues. You are not alone; you can help someone else.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously! Everybody plays the fool sometimes. Everybody makes mistakes. The coolest, strongest, and most influential leaders maintain their composure by allowing themselves to be vulnerable and laugh at themselves. There is no shame in owning your unique style whether it won you a standing ovation or a pair of skinned knees.
- Yes, life is a competition and you do need to be on your game. Whether you are competing with yourself to accomplish the next goal on your agenda or your are trying to beat out all the other candidates for a promotion, don’t kid yourself into thinking destiny will simply swoop in and take care of your success while you sit on the sidelines idly obsessing over your potential (or lack thereof). The most positive leaders are the true successes because with their positivity comes resilience, confidence, and stamina. And these are the people who really do win. There is no reason you cannot be one of them!
You can probably think of at least another twenty ways to rid negativity from your daily experience. These ten acknowledgments are only a sampling of the ways positivity will enhance your success and enrich your leadership style. Negative self talk will sometimes slip inside the cracks in your consciousness but all it will do is sap your energy and veer you off course.
Focus on your goals and know that positivity is a TOOL and a CHOICE. Use it!
